In this vale of tears, everybody must endure the trials and tribulations of all manner of difficulties before enjoying a bed of roses (eternal peace and joy). Among them, seeing our loved ones pass away is immensely yet ineluctably excruciating.
Among the melodious songs that I enjoyed of late is Christina Perri's "Evergone", which impelled me to expound on how we can live with our dead loved ones forever, as well as cope with the overwhelming emotions that always swamp us.
In "Evergone", there are two lines saying "I think about a better place. I learn to live with the heartache." As the adage goes, "life is too short to let us stay on the receiving end of sheer misery." You would find lugubrious faces surrounding you whenever your loved ones passed away. There is no gainsaying that we would be swamped with relentless and penetrating pain. And it's perfectly fine for you to shed tears as it may be too overly unbearable. Yet, it is imperative that we stop the genie from leaping out of the bottle. As such, I suggest you revisit the good, old places where you shared precious moments with your deceased loved ones. Reminisce about the delightful moments, the unadulterated joy. Think about how grateful you are to have him/her interjected in your life, even just for mere seconds. Pain and misery are par for the course, yet never, ever let them ruin the enjoyable moments that you will forever cherish.
In another part of the lyrics -- "Thoughts of you bring me back, To times I thought we'd always have...In your hopes and dreams, In your memories" -- lies a vital key. Everybody knows that keepsakes are truly hard to retrieve and retain. Yet thoughts, albeit intangible, tend to remain in our hearts in perpetuity. Just like how the protagonist Rose in the riveting movie "Titanic" put it some 80 years following the tragedy, "I don't even have a picture of him (the beloved Jack). He exists now only in my memory." At night, just look up to the mesmerising and star-studded night sky. Consider the stars that light up the night sky your deceased loved ones. They are always your real leading lights! As Christina belted out in her song, "No one is ever gone...No one is ever gone..." Irrefutably, your deceased loved ones are physcially absent. Yet, that doesn't mean they are forgotten forever. They do exist in your memories, your hopes and your dreams. Enmeshed in this COVID-19 conundrum, we have taken to communicating with one another via the Internet. Now, your memories and dreams are the means of communicating with your deceased loved ones. There is a noteworthy bonus: You can literally hear them talking and see them moving. Pictures and videos cannot possibly make all these exist in actuality. Try to utter a few words that you have yearned to tell them, without a heavy heart as you imagine them being still alive and kicking. It is of paramount importance that you know nobody is gone for ever. As long as you know a person existed before, he/she remains alive, safe and sound, still allowing you to bask in his/her warmth and eternal love.
Lamentably, the harsh reality will sound the death knell for every one of us still alive when it comes time despite the fact nobody would dare touch death with a bargepole. But yet again, life is way too short for us to scrape the bottom of the barrel, perennially searching for something tangible to help us assuage the tormenting pain in consequence of someone's death. So, in sum, here are the two critical keys to reaching your deceased loved ones: "Think about a better place" and retain the invaluable recollections. Your mind is the strongbox.
Suffice it to say, our positivity will carry the day.
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